Jamie O'Brien, Pipeline ace, free-surf prodigy, media-ready rebel, was interviewed by Derek Rielly for the February 2007 issue of Stab. This conversation was recorded over the phone, just after 23-year-old O'Brien won the Monster Energy Pro, his third Pipe win since 2004.

Last time I looked you had your paws around whatever drive-through fodder was in close proximity.

Yeah, drank too many Red Bulls, ate too much bad food.

Taco Bell, McDonalds, Jack in the Box, Wendy’s. When I go to Town, the first place I stop is Jack in the Box.

So you roll into McDonalds in your Caddy, bouncing on 24s . . . what’s your order?

Quarter-pounder, fucken fries, fucken large Coke and a McFlurry or something. But I don’t drink soda or eat McDonalds anymore. I’ve eaten it maybe once in the last four months, maybe three times. Or actually, I ate McDonalds the day after I won the event. I was, like, Fuck this...

Have you ever won a contest other than Pipe?

How cool is that? Three contest wins, all at Pipe?

It’s pretty fucken hilarious. That’s the place to win! I’d like to win at Tavarua or Tahiti. I’d love to win a contest in small waves, too. But my Pipe trophies mean more than any of that shit.

What gets you through all those heats at Pipe?

Knowledge. Just knowing where to be, where to sit. I feel like I’m at home out there. I’m relaxed.

Do other guys in the heat tend to hover close by, feeding on your local skills?

Y’know what? What really bothers me is they try and be too competitive and they’re paddling too deep and it’s, like, ‘Why are you going to take it another 10-feet inside? I know you're not going to make it and I’m not going to make it.’ It's irritating surfing a heat with four guys.

How's the crowd situation out there in general.

Fuck, it’s weird, man. I want people to surf Pipe who know how to surf Pipe, so I’m not in danger. I don’t want people on the shoulder causing a ruckus, paddling for everyone’s waves. I almost wish they’d make a thing where you need a license to surf Pipe because there’s so many retards out there. You've gotta be qualified to surf that wave.

Here's one the craziest things I’ve seen. When I was 16, I was out there with Gerry Lopez. The only time in my life I’ve surfed with him. I asked him, "Hey man, why don't you just tell these guys, I’m Gerry Lopez, watch out, I want to get a good one!" And Gerry’s, like, "I've had my days out here. These guys don't know who l am, that’s cool." God, if I was Gerry Lopez, I’d be like, "Listen up everybody! Outta my way, I gotta catch some waves!"

When you pull rank, what's you look? Is your chest thrust forward and do you pop your eyes?

I don't know., Nah, they’re probably looking at me going, "What the fuck? Who's the little guy trying to yell at me?" (Laughing) I’ve been yelling at guys out there since I was fucken 11. I’ve grown a lot. Thank God, I’m a lot bigger than I used to be. If everyone was cool, it’d a cool place. But everyone’s not cool, so everyone thinks we’re all assholes.

Where do you sit in the Pipe hierarchy? On a good day, when all the boys are out, who gets first bite, second bite, etc?

I don’t like surfing when everybody’s out, all the boys. I let them have their time and come out when it’s less crowded, more inviting.

Makua [Rothman] holds it down out there. He gets any wave he wants. Even if I’m perfectly in position to get a one, Makua can have it. He earned that spot.

He's unpredictable. He goes right when it’s huge. He can read waves a lot better than most of us. Aside from just riding Pipeline, it’s all about reading the wave. If you can’t read it, you ain’t gonna get barreled.

You and Kelly [Slater] are side by side, a set wave approaches. Who gets it?

Well, except, Kelly, when a wave comes in, he’s usually in the best spot. But he’ll ask me, "Which way you going?" Kelly’s one of those guys you have to respect even though he’s not from there. He’s so good, you don’t feel bad giving Kelly waves because you know he’s going to fucken dominate the thing.

What about Bruce? A hypothetical super session. You and Bruce, eight-foot, two hours, best two waves.

Oh man, who fucken knows? Bruce, I love his surfing. Him and Kelly and Johnny-Boy Gomes, those three, that’s where I learned everything, The way I visualize Pipe, it was like, okay, Kelly’s the best, then oh wow, here comes Bruce and he’s refined what Kelly’s done. And then, oh my god, there’s Johnny Boy dropping into big rights! Holy shit, a big closeout, and afterwards John paddles back and I ask about the wave and he’s like: "I made that one." And I'm tripping out, man!

You talk about respect for Pipe, respect for the consequences, but you do display a reckless abandon out there. How’s that work?

I'll be sitting on the beach, like, "Wow, it's heavy." But once I'm out there there it's, "Wow! Pulling into closeouts . . . Wooooo!" It’s a weird adrenalin rush. You’re so excited it doesn’t even matter. It’s your moment and you have to live it.

No, I think about it a lot, actually. I don’t wanna get hurt, I don’t wanna die. Sometimes I wish I didn't have to surf out there. But it’s my spot. I surf there every day.

I heard about a photo shoot you just did where you're burning an ASP rule book, an apparent reference to your burning hate for the beleaguered organization. Are you an anarchist?

This is like shooting salmon in a bucket, quote-wise, but tell me, using as many fucks as you like, what you think about top-level professional surfing.

I think the WCT is pretty cool and the WQS sucks ass. The WQS is the biggest piece of shit tour I’ve seen in my life. That’s why I like filming. I can do whatever I want. I don’t have to worry about someone telling me how I’m going to qualify. To make my movie, I just go out and do airs and have fun.

How would you cure the apparent ills of the WQS?

I don’t even know, bro. Just bag the whole fucken thing. Look at the waves on the WQS—they fucken suck. Who wants to surf those waves? A lot of guys get back on tour every year, they just keep doing it, on that cycle, let’s try and qualify for the CT again. And then it's like, Oh you did it! Finally! You’re a great competitive surfer! But you’re not doing anything for the sport of surfing. You’re surfing shitty contests so you can pay your bills, your mortgage and whatnot.

I have another hypothesis I’d like to test. How old are you, 22?

Okay, fast-forward seven years. You’re 30, you’ve won four Pipe Masters, still surfing great—but there’s a new Dane, a new Jamie, doin' moves your chalky old bones can only dream of. Who's going buy a movie of an old man switchfooting at Pipe (in five years it’ll be so passe), someone who’s never owned the WCT? At some point, do you need to validate your surfing via the WCT?

Maybe. I don’t really care at this moment. So far, I’ve achieved everything I wanted. More. Except for, y’know, that. I’m content with what I’m doing and I don’t feel weird about it. Most of those guys surf the CT to make more money. They don’t surf the CT to win world titles. They’re like, "I’m on the CT, I want another $25,000." If I’m on the CT I want to fucken win one of these world titles.

Earlier, you said that you sometimes wished Pipe wasn’t your local spot. Care to expand?

Y’know, you can definitely hurt out there, and if you surf it every day you shorten your odds. It’s going to catch up with you. I’ve broken both my legs out there. I’ve had stitches in my face and my legs and every year I almost drown. I almost drowned this year.

Did you seriously come close or is this dramatic use of hyperbole?

No, it was close. I questioned it—like, Is this how it’s gonna to end? Then I was like, Fuck going like that!" Swim, swim, swim, just double-kicking to the surface.

How you ended up living at Pipe with just your dad?

My mom didn’t like the beach that much. She liked horse riding and the country. When we moved to the beach, my mom split. I haven’t seen my mom since I was 13. She lives in Reno, Nevada.

Your old boy’s Australian, mum’s American. You’ve grown up in Hawaii. What do you call yourself?

Hawaiian. I mean, I’m not Hawaiian, I'm local. I don’t class myself as an American, let me tell you that.

You carrying a wallet? If you would, empty the contents onto the ground and describe.

(Long pause) State of Hawaii license, date of birth, 06/09/83. I got a United Airline Mileage Plus card, an ATM card, 24-Hour Fitness membership. Priority Checking Card, Aloha Airlines Mileage card. I have a receipt from Tiffany’s for $375 for a bracelet with hearts I bought for my girlfriend. (Counting) Five, six, seven . . . $647 in cash. I got a quote for lifting my truck, it’s around $9500. I haven’t done it yet because I’m trying to save money. Let’s see. I got a Cadillac business card to the place where I take my Cadillac for maintenance.

Gucci. Leather. My girlfriend bought it for me for Christmas. Probably a $300 wallet.

Finally, how'd you stay clean all these years? It’s rare for a 23-year-old on the North Shore not to have fallen down the spout of an ice pipe at least once.

It’s good I’m not home in the summer. A lot of people lose their minds in Hawaii in the summer because there’s no waves. There’s nothing to do, so people start partying and going down that path. Luckily, I get to travel. Every year, I'm outta here. All I need to worry about is my surfing, not the next party.

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